Allow me to be transparent– I am in absolute awe and wonder of what the Lord is doing, and also turmoil as I feel the burden to carry this vision and see it through to it’s completed purpose. I am trying very hard to articulate the profound grief that I feel. I am usually the one who has words, but this time I don’t seem to be finding them easily. If I had to try and name this grief it would be a reverse-culture shock. I am not mostly talking about India, the country itself, although that's part of it. I am mostly referring to the culture of christianity and how we live out this gospel that we so readily claim. The church that is made up of believers in India is more generous than the American church can hardly fathom. They give from their lack and share readily everything they have. Their gratitude is astounding. Their faith is tested beyond any limits ours has endured in terms of cultural persecution, and yet they are steadfast and unwavering. They do not operate as we do in our individualistic culture, but they feel like one community, one family with open hearts who are wholly united in their purpose. I am making generalized statements, but bear with me because we all need a heart check. The church that we have experienced in India is not a sleeping church. They are very much awake, very much enduring the persecution that ignites real faith and true worship. 

I was extremely sleep deprived on this particular trip, but it seemed to make it easier for me to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit since I was so desperate for his grace to sustain me! He said something profound to me during one car ride. He said that we so often times ask God, “What do you want me to do?” But this is the wrong question to ask, because the question itself is within the framework that we are somehow separate from Christ. The word says that we are one with him and in union with him! So the only question that we can rightly ask is, “Lord, what are you doing? And how can I join you in your work?” 

That summarizes the work that he has called us to in India. It’s not our idea, it’s not our work, and we can’t take credit for any of it. It’s holy because it’s his work. It was supernatural in its initiation, and it will be supernatural through every process and through the completion of it. Jesus alone gets the glory and we are truly undeserving of joining him, but he calls us anyway! That’s the point isn't it? We cannot boast about anything but our weakness.

In the American church we have been so often baited and hooked with a gospel that is for us. The very nature of Christ is generosity; it is to give. It is to lay down one’s life. Let me be clear: The gospel is for us, but it is not to serve us. It is for us to serve Christ. If we do not care about 

the things that he cares about, we are falling short. If the subconscious goal of our lives has somehow become to be comfortable, we are failing not only our calling but we are failing our brothers and sisters in Christ. They do not have the privilege of being comfortable. They do not have the “privilege” of being self-absorbed in their faith. You may not feel a call to India, but I believe that the call to you is the same– Jesus is looking for those who will say yes to sacrificial love. Those who are no longer living their christianity for themselves, for their glory, for what they can get out of it…but have chosen, however imperfectly, to live for the One who gave his life as a ransom for them. God wants to bless us, but that can never be our motive. Because when we inevitably experience loss of every kind we will become offended and bitter if that is our motive. I know; you can ask me what it’s like to live a selfish christian life. I’ve done

it. Isn’t it so cringey to type that out? Yet somehow it’s a very acceptable way to live as a christian. We cannot ask God to bless us for our own sake. We have to be willing to become vessels that pour out. 

As many of you know from our first trip, we were able to connect with a pastor in the city of Deoghar, Pastor Alfred. He and his wife Sirin and son James (14) are faithful believers there in a particularly hard region for the gospel. Alfred himself suffers from a disability and walks with the use of a cane. Does that stop him from riding his motorbike all over Deoghar and even to Athmuria to share the gospel? Absolutely not. He continues to do the work of the Lord there with joy! He said when he first moved there several years ago, there was not even one other believer to gather with. Now they have a beautiful community that is growing there, and God has asked us personally to help them build a church building alongside them to serve as a gathering place, and in the future also a place of resource for the entire community and the surrounding villages. The village Athmuria that God spoke to me about in September 2024 is about 1.8 miles from the land where the church will be. We were able to go and visit this land and have a “ground-breaking ceremony” where we were able to participate in dedicating this place to Jesus and his glory! What an honor it is to come alongside these faithful people and build something beautiful. Just right down the road from this church site is a brand new government sponsored Ashram- a large hindu center for spiritual practices, essentially a hindu monastery. Much of the persecution there is politically motivated for nationalist and hindu agendas. I feel that this is so strategic of the Lord for this place and region! I love that he is in a sense, challenging these false gods and idols by allowing us to partner in his kingdom work! It’s just so amazing to be there in person and see it with our own eyes.